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Showing posts from February, 2018

Cancer's Highs and Lows

It has been forever since I've blogged... and that has been by choice. I'm not too busy. I'm not overwhelmed. I'm not lacking in things to say. But the last eight months have been wrought with difficult, unexpected, depressing emotions. The cancer diagnosis was a rollercoaster ride from the start, but by the time I made it to surgery #3 last July, a surgery that by all accounts was the "good" one, the one that would put me back together, I all of a sudden felt anything but positive feelings about it. Two weeks before the operation I was as depressed and full of angst as I was the week I was diagnosed. What the heck? Where was that coming from? Things were going well! This was going to be good! I never really got to the root of why those thoughts came back, I decided I simply hadn't dealt with them as fully as I thought, and I moved on. I decided I didn't know what to say or how to say it when it came to feeling so low, so "better left unsaid&q